What I figured out this week: let the shit go and just keep going
Whew.
This week?
It has been exhausting.
It has been trying.
It has been humbling.
And for the first time in a while, instead of just saying “I’m trying to figure it out,” I actually figured something out.
Calvin asked me something simple this week.
He said, “Instead of saying you’re trying to figure it out… what did you figure out?”
And that question sat with me.
Because this week forced me to figure some shit out.
Move Like Sariah…
First: I can’t do this shit alone
Sariah had RSV.
big moves.tiny human…Merch dropping Soon!!!
And when I tell you she was sick — I mean sick.
Coughing all night.
Couldn’t lie flat.
We had to hold her upright so she could breathe more easily.
Medicine schedules.
No sleep.
Stress.
And I was sick too.
So we were just two sick humans trying to function.
And I figured out something fast:
I cannot do this alone.
Not emotionally.
Not physically.
Not mentally.
And I don’t need to pretend that I can.
Second: stress doesn’t change the situation.
You know what stress did this week?
Nothing.
It didn’t make her heal faster.
It didn’t make me less sick.
It didn’t make testing at work easier.
It didn’t make the week lighter.
It just made me more tense.
So I had to run into it instead of running from it.
Face it.
Go through it.
Because that’s what this season requires.
And going through hard weeks like this?
That’s what makes you a better parent.
A better partner.
A better person.
Not avoiding it. Not complaining about it.
Going through it.
Work didn’t slow down just because life got hard
This was also the most intense testing week at work.
And it stretched me.
It forced me into skill sets I’m not even sure I have yet.
It forced me to lead in ways that felt uncomfortable.
To respond instead of react.
To move fast.
To think clearly when I was exhausted.
And I kept asking myself:
“Do I even have this in me?”
And you know what I decided yesterday morning?
I said out loud:
“It’s going to be a great day.”
Not because I felt great.
But because I needed to decide it.
6:02 a.m. and a decision
I woke up at 6:02 a.m.
I had to be at work at 6:30.
And let me tell you something:
There was no way — no way — I was leaving that house without doing my daughter’s hair, getting her dressed properly, giving her medicine, and making sure she was ready for school.
It wasn’t happening.
Work can wait.
My daughter cannot.
So yes — I got to work at 7:03.
And I did not give a flying shit.
Because I will not keep putting work before what matters.
That was a boundary.
That was growth.
That was clarity.
Valentine’s Day Outfit!!! Sariah’s hair was priority!!!
What I figured out
Here’s what I figured out this week:
I cannot control what happens.
Not my daughter getting sick.
Not testing season.
Not unexpected chaos.
Not exhaustion.
I can only prepare.
I can only plan.
I can only respond.
And most importantly?
I can let the shit go and keep going.
Let go of:
the guilt
the “I’m behind.”
the perfection
the anxiety about being late
the need to control everything
Because none of that changes the outcome.
It just drains me.
I’m doing this shit
And you know what else I figured out?
I’m doing this.
My baby just chilling on MY bed lol
Even when it’s messy.
Even when I’m sick.
Even when she’s sick.
Even when work is heavy.
Even when I doubt myself.
I’m doing it.
And that matters.
So now I’m asking you.
If you figured something out this week, please tell me.
What did you learn?
What did life force you to see?
Because maybe the whole point of “trying to figure it all out” isn’t having the answers…
It’s collecting the lessons.
This week, I figured out:
Let the shit go.
And keep going.
CHECK OUT OUR STANSTORE!!! MERCH COMING SOON!!!
Follow my socials below…
So now I’m asking you.
If you figured something out this week, please tell me.
What did life force you to see?
What lesson hit you harder than you expected?
What truth did you finally accept?
Because maybe the whole point of “trying to figure it all out” isn’t having all the answers…
It’s collecting the lessons.
This week, I figured out:
Let the shit go.
And keep going.
And now I want to hear from you.
What did you figure out this week?
Please comment below. You all pour into me all the time — checking on me, encouraging me, calling me, texting me, making sure I’m okay. I want us to do the same for each other! Let’s pour into each other.
Drop it below. Let’s grow together.
— shaybleu 💙