shit, I don’t get enough sleep!
This week has been one of those weeks where I'm not even going to pretend.
I’m struggling.
Not just because of work — although work is definitely whooping my ass right now. I’m deep in testing season at my campus, and testing alone is enough to make anybody lose their mind. But what’s really got me? What’s really exposing me?
My time management is trash.
My sleep is worse.
And this week… has been a pure fuck-up.
Let’s be real.
the truth is, I don’t manage my time on campus
I’m not going to blame everything on motherhood. I’m not going to blame everything on work either. I’m not going to act like I have zero help, because I do.
Calvin has been holding it down. He’s picking up Sariah, washing dishes, helping with the food — doing what he can.
But my issue is this:
Even with help, I still don’t manage my time well.
I will be on campus, knowing I have things to finish, yet I somehow don’t use it to its full potential. Then, when I get home, everything spills over. It turns into late-night work sessions, chaotic nights, and me dragging my body through the next day like a zombie with a badge.
And I keep wondering why I’m tired.
Girl. You know why.
I’m delirious by 9 pm.
By the time 9:00 pm hits, I’m not even tired — I’m delirious.
I do the nighttime routine, I get Sariah to bed, and I swear my brain shuts down like a laptop on 2%.
And then what happens?
I’m in the bed, resting my eyes.”
Then somehow it turns into:
falling asleep
waking up at 12:00
waking up at 1:00
waking up at 2:00
trying to finish work sessions and tasks like I’m in some midnight productivity Olympics
And that cycle is not sustainable.
This week I only made it to the trainer twice — Monday and Thursday — because I’m just… tired as fuck. Staying at work late, staying up late, going to work early ass fuck. And the crazy part is: I signed up for training to become a better person, and I can’t even stay asleep long enough to let my body recover from the workouts.
My trainer told me straight up:
If you don’t sleep and you don’t eat right, the workouts won’t mean shit.
And baby… she was not lying.
I didn’t understand how important getting enough sleep is until I had Sariah.
I didn’t really respect sleep until I became a mom.
Because being a mom opened up a whole insecure box for me, like:
“Oh bitch… You don’t even have your schedule together.”
Postpartum sleep deprivation? Yeah, I had that.
And the gag is… we're still dealing with it.
Because Sariah still doesn’t sleep like she should — and honestly, neither do I. This child wakes up two or three times a night, moving around, crying, needing something, standing up like she pays rent.
And me?
I’m right there with her.
This girl and I are the same person.
Our sleep patterns are both messed up… like we are literally double mint twins. I’m not even joking.
Sleep is not optional — it’s health
Here’s what I learned this week: sleep is not just “rest.”
Sleep is the foundation.
The CDC says adults need at least 7 hours of sleep per night — not just for energy, but for overall health.
And if you regularly get less than 7 hours, it’s associated with a higher risk of things like:
depression and anxiety
obesity and weight gain
high blood pressure
heart disease and stroke
diabetes
and even injury/accidents because you’re literally not functioning correctly
So when I’m waking up every hour and dragging through my days, it’s not just “tired.”
It’s my body trying to tell me:
Girl, you are not okay.
Sleep affects weight loss, too… and that pissed me off
And I really didn’t want to hear this part…
But sleep affects weight loss.
Not because of some magical fitness influencer lie — but because of hormones.
Studies show sleep deprivation can increase ghrelin (the hormone that makes you hungry) and mess with leptin (the hormone that helps you feel full). That means when you don’t sleep, you’re more likely to crave carbs, sugar, and snacks… and be hungry more often.
So now it makes sense why I’m trying to “get my body together,” but:
I’m exhausted
I’m craving junk
I’m inconsistent in workouts
and I’m wondering why my stomach still looks like it’s protesting
It’s not just the diastasis recti.
3 weeks postpartum I was devastated
It’s the fact that my body has no chance to heal when I’m surviving on broken sleep.
If I don’t fix sleep, nothing else will work.
This is the hard truth I had to tell myself:
If I don’t fix sleep, nothing else will work.
Not the gym.
Not the diet.
Not the glow up.
Not the content creation.
Not the time management.
Not the confidence.
Because sleep is fuel.
And right now, I’m running on fumes
This week was hard, but it exposed the truth
This week has been challenging. For real.
Work is overwhelming. Testing is taking over my brain. I’m not managing my time right. I’m not sleeping.
And I don’t want this to be the norm in my life.
And I definitely don’t want it to be the norm in Sariah’s life.
I don’t want her waking up every night. I don’t want her nervous system running on chaos like mine has been. I don’t want our sleep to be broken and unstructured, like this is just “how we are.”
No.
We can do better.
I can do better.
So yeah… shit, y’all, I don’t get enough sleep
This is me, calling it out in real time.
I don’t get enough sleep.
And it’s messing with everything.
So this week I’m not focusing on 50 goals.
I’m focusing on ONE:
Getting our sleep together.
Because I can’t keep trying to build a better life on a tired body.
And neither can my baby.